Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
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