4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Are we still banned from the library?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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