Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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