My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
