when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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