something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
