just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize