How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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