I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just google imaged poop.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
