He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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