I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize