So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize