He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
