I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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