it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Success! We fucked roommates!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize