At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
