my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
