what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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