I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize