I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
