So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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