hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
