so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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