Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
