Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
