my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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