You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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