im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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