Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
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