Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize