called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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