Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
