Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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