So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
