So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
