you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
