sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
