I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
