Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
