Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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