you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
