Sacagawea was the original milf.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize