I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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