your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
