Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
