Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
