my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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