ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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