he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize