why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
