I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
