The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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