Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think my moral compass just broke
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize