C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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