How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
