We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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