do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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