I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
