don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
