I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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