great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
