I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
