So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
