Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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