I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
