going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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