Yo dont text me then not text me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
