Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
